Simon Sinek has a very famous book Find Your Why and a popular TED talk Start with Why. Those all sound great, but I would argue that before finding your why, you should find out who you are. Do you know who you really are?
It is imperative to find out who you are before finding a relationship…. Or anything else in life.
The most important person in the World you have to study is YOU!
· When difficult situations arose, how did you respond?
Your answer to this question shows you who you are in a vivid way. Here are some examples:
When Jack got a divorce, he became addicted to video games (escapism). Because he stayed up late at night in order to play lots of video games, he couldn’t wake up early in the morning, which eventually made his boss fire him. As I’m typing this article now, Jack is living in his mom’s basement.
When Jon got a divorce, he felt depressed and anxious, so he went to see a psychologist who improved his mental health. Then he started a new business which has become wildly successful. As I’m typing this article now, Jon has already automated his business and has met his new lady. Now they are engaged.
As you can see, the way you respond to difficult situations tells you exactly who you really are. Are you a guy who wants to shy away from the whole world when a challenging situation happens? Or are you a guy who proactively looks for practical solutions to problems and then grows out of your problems?
If you are happy with the way you responded to difficult situations in life, that means you are happy with who you are. Otherwise, you have to change who you are. Yes, you read that right. I mean you should literally become someone else.
· Everything that has happened in your life is here to teach you who you really are.
In life, you don’t get what you want; you only get who you are.
The universe only gives you what you can handle.
You can only manage the type of stress that you are able to cope with. For example, if you don’t have the skills to stay married, then you simply won’t stay married. That is a skillset that you don’t have, so your reality matches who you really are.
In contrast, if you have very good game, then you can run game on any woman that you like. You are able to have a satisfying love life, no matter you choose to get married or not.
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