As a man in dating and relationships, you’ll either lead or be misled. Period.
Now the question is: How do you be a leader in dating and relationships? The answer is simple (but this doesn’t mean it’s easy): You have to keep your frame.
· Don’t give her validation.
Do you know why women dress up? The reason is quite obvious – women are validated by attention. Ironically, when you actually pay (show) attention to women because of their beauty, that’s exactly when they lose interest in you. I know this sounds strange, but please let me explain.
Women want to impress men (women are biologically programmed to do that) – they just don’t know it (or don’t want to admit it). More specifically, women want to impress men that they admire. Meanwhile, women are not impressed by men who give them validation simply because they look attractive.
Here is why:
If you pay attention to her beauty instantly, that implies two things:
1.) You don’t have abundance in your love life, i.e., you can’t get pretty girls easily, so your value must be low. In other words, the perceived value is absent.
2.) She is the hottest woman in your reality. In other words, the perceived challenge is absent.
Remember: without perceived value and perceived challenge, attraction is non-existent. The end.
· Be unfazeable.
No, that’s not a spelling mistake.
In fact, that is the cornerstone of maintaining masculine energy. (Sadly, unfazeable stillness is not common in men.)
Examples:
1.) When she violates your standards or crosses your boundaries, you need to call her out without showing anger. That is to say, you would be well-advised to tell her what she has done is a big turn-off in a calm manner – tell her that clearly with conviction (and without emotions). Then give her a few days to process what you’ve told her.
2.) If she is angry for some reason, you should not join her anger. Always manage her emotions calmly before offering a solution.
· Increase your real value.
I can give you 1,001 tactics regarding how to walk, how to talk and how to carry yourself – those are important, but to be honest, those tactics can only increase your perceived value (which is absolutely necessary). Yet at the end of the day, perceived value is like the trailer of a movie, whereas your real value is the actual movie.
Many men look great. They have external confidence because they work on their grooming, learn communication skills, etc. These definitely play a key role in dating and relationships. However, external confidence is just like the trailer of a movie. If that’s all you’ve got, then when a woman starts a relationship with you, she will realize that the actual movie itself is very boring.
Therefore, you have to build your real value by improving your health, wealth, personality and mindset.
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