According to a human dynamics’ expert from the UK, this is the attraction formula: visual chemistry + perceived value + perceived challenge = attraction.
It sounds pretty good, but what does that really mean? What is perceived value? What is perceived challenge? These all look very vague. Now I’d like to deconstruct how attraction really works.
· Money is a part of perceived value.
There is a difference perceived value and objective value. Perceived value means the subjective value of something/someone in the buyer’s eyes; objective value refers to the real value that is assessed in an impartial way. That being said, sometimes perceived value and objective value can be the same thing because the buyer could be a very rational person!
If a man has money, his perceived value is higher. However, money shouldn’t be the primary reason why women like him. If a woman likes a man simply because of his wealth, that’s actually convenience rather than attraction.
In other words, money plays a role in attraction, but it doesn’t play a key role.
· Looks – visual chemistry
A man who looks like Brad Pitt can easily build visual chemistry with women because women are also very visual. However, this kind of things can change over time easily – Have you ever had experiences like this? – When you were young, you were attracted to someone at school; nevertheless, many years later when you meet that person again, you wonder how/why the hell you would be attracted to that person?! That’s because a person’s appearance can change (and will change). Also, what you enjoyed looking at when you were 18 years old could be dramatically different from what you enjoy looking at today!
As a result, looks also can’t play an important part in long-term attraction. Yet it plays a paramount part in infatuation!
· Why your personality is the No. 1 determinant in the dynamics:
Your personality is the perceived challenge. Perceived challenge is all about keeping a woman slightly off-balance. This can only be achieved through a man’s personality. Please let me explain.
A guy’s personality consists of many different aspects, e.g. his social skills, his conversational skills, his charisma, the way he deals with difficult situations, the way he explains things in life, how he treats his career, hobbies, friends, family, romantic partner, etc. What’s more, his mindset keeps shaping his personality forever!
Let’s say you are a growth-driven guy who loves reading and learning new things. Chances are you always have something interesting to talk about and new skills to master. So, women will find you desirable, fascinating and intoxicating! You have permanent perceived challenge!
Indeed, money and looks may not stay with you forever, but nobody can take away your personality from you!
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